just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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