This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
