She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize