I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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