Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I stole a fireplace last night.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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