If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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