i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
