Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
