No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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