If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
