North Korea, Best Korea!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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