We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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