i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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