On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
