That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
