My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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