I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
