I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
