Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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