I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
