It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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