wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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