turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
