he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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