I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
