He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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