And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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