I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
