Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
