You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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