About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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