ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
