They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
