twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't deserve a penis
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
