One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
