This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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