the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
