He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
not ubering you a puppy
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
