Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
