explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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