Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize