Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
