but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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