Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
