??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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