Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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