idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
