The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
