Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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