I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
