Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize