All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
