And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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