And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
