Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
