As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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