when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
