i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
