Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Randomize
