There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
