eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ā¯¤ā¯¤ also dont tell anyone
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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