I want to stick my p in your. b.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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