Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and she was petting her beer can
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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