No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The power of my boobs compel you
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
