My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
