just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
