we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize