can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
