I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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