One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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