I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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