HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
