So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize