In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
