10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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