who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize