Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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