"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
