I don't think brook has ever known best
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
