What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
