just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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