umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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