I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
