Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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